"When a man steals your wife there is
no better revenge than to let
him keep her."
Sacha Guitry
"There is one thing I would break up over and
that is if she caught me with another woman.
I wouldn't stand for that."
Steve Martin
"Behind every successful man is a woman,
behind her is his wife."
Groucho Marx
"It was a perfect marriage.
She didn't want to and he couldn't."
Spike Milligan
"My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher. "
Socrates
"The General was essentially a man of peace,
except of course in his domestic affairs."
Oscar Wilde
"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage."
Ambrose Bierce
"I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury."
Groucho Marx
"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.
Every now and then she stops to breathe."
Jimmy Durante