Funny Quotes and their Authors

"When a man steals your wife there is
no better revenge than to let
him keep her."
Sacha Guitry

"There is one thing I would break up over and
that is if she caught me with another woman.
I wouldn't stand for that."
Steve Martin

"Behind every successful man is a woman,
behind her is his wife."
Groucho Marx

"It was a perfect marriage.
She didn't want to and he couldn't."
Spike Milligan

"My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher. "
Socrates

"The General was essentially a man of peace,
except of course in his domestic affairs."
Oscar Wilde

"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage."
Ambrose Bierce

"I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury."
Groucho Marx

"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.
Every now and then she stops to breathe."
Jimmy Durante